PREFACE
Having heard that it is possible to write a smash-hit children's book in 24 hours, I decided to try my hand at the genre. I didn't have 24 hours available, but I was stuck in traffic for a while, and wrote this in my head. It's really poorly done, and not all that clever, but that doesn't seem to be an issue.

Martha and the Ankle Bracelet
by
David Lubar and Priapus Corp.*

Martha was a princess.
Wait! Make that a queen.
The fairest, fairest, fairest
We have ever, ever seen.

She taught the art of living,
She told us all about
How to fold a napkin
And how to gut a trout.

Her life was near perfection,
She had all that she did need
Until she was assaulted
By that awful ogre, Greed!

Greed whispered bad thoughts in her ear,
She succumbed to his persuading,
And performed a teensy act
Of inside info trading.

The S.E.C. caught wind of this
And went to have her tried.
While on the stand, she made a slip.
Alas, dear Martha lied.

They threw her in the slammer
Where cons trade flesh for smokes.
And even worse, she soon became
The butt of Leno’s jokes.

She served her time quite nobly,
(Dear Reader – could you face it?)
But when she left, she had to wear
A tacky ankle bracelet.

It rubbed and chafed quite terribly,
It left her with a bruise,
It ruined the line of draped pants legs,
And clashed with all her shoes.

But now it’s off and Martha’s free
From house arrest. (Oh what a dump!)
As a reward, she gets to be
A clone of awesome Donald Trump.

The moral of this story?
Together, let’s all shout it:
It's safe to place a shady trade,
But never lie about it.

* Priapus Corp. is an award-winning design team that is hugely excited about the potential profits in the world of publishing random picture books.

AFTERWORD
This book is available in a special Publish It Through Yourself (PITY) edition. To get your very own copy, click on "File," and then click on "Print." Yay! My book has been published.

Copyright © 2005 by David Lubar